When Life Comes Crashing Down

by Sandy Kirby Quandt

What can we do when life is falling apart around us?

This question, and others, have come up in conversations I’ve had in the past week with three friends. I’m going to call these friends Widow, Caregiver, and Young Wife.

Widow is in her late seventies. Her husband died unexpectedly several months back.

When I spoke with her, one of the things she said won’t leave my brain.

“I don’t want to do this.”

I don’t want to walk this path alone.

I don’t want to carry on as if everything is okay, because it isn’t.

I don’t want to put on a smile when my heart is torn in two and it will never be right again.

I don’t want to go out with friends because they are all couples and have no idea what I’m going through.

Caregiver is in her late sixties.

Her husband recently survived a life-threatening car accident. Last week he took his first few steps since the accident with the help of a walker. While she tried to put up a good front, I saw past her facade, because I’ve been where she is.

Although you are grateful for the spared life, your life has changed drastically and there is no way to go back to the way it was before.

As we spoke, she said, “You do understand.”


Isn’t that what we want?

Someone who understands. Someone who has walked where we’re walking? Someone who won’t judge when we let the mask slip and show our vulnerability and pain?

Young Wife is in her late twenties. She has two children under the age of six.

She and I met five years ago. We’d not seen each other for almost a year.

My heart aches for this Child of God and the difficulties she continues to experience in her marriage.

As we spoke she smiled and said, “We just have to have faith, right?”

So. Back to my original question.

What can we do when life is falling apart around us?

The Bible tells us God is the husband to the widow and father to the fatherless. We are told Jesus is our strength when we are weak. He gives us the power to keep going when we want to give up.

Christ will never leave or forsake us. He’s got our back and holds every tear we have ever cried.

All very very true.

Yet …

He uses people like you and like me to step up and be the hand to hold, the shoulder to lean on, the ear that listens.

Like I’m fond of saying right along with the Apostle Paul, comfort as we’ve been comforted.

Do you find it easy to share your experiences so others may be comforted, or be honest so you can be comforted?

Why or why not?

Leave a comment below to share your thoughts on the subject. If you think others would appreciate reading this, please share it through the social media buttons.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NLT)

I wish you well.


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