No More Faking Fine Book Review

by Sandy Kirby Quandt

In No More Faking Fine, based on the theme of lamenting, Esther Fleece tells readers God meets them in their hurts and pain when they go to him in honest lament without a façade of fine. The author says, “God meets us where we are at and not where we pretend to be.”

Through recounting her broken childhood and dysfunctional family life Esther shows how she faked fine to deal with the pain. It took years before she realized God wants to hear our laments in order to heal us.

Some of the points Esther considered:

  • Was God doing this to me, or was God allowing this to happen?
  • Pain is not my fault. God is still with and for me.
  • Lament is expressing honest emotions to God when life isn’t going as planned.
  • We will be unsuccessful at sitting with hurting people if we have not allowed ourselves to grieve and go through the lament process ourselves.
  • Faking it will make me strong is a false promise of coping mechanisms.
  • Stuffing our emotions keeps the pain internalized where it can continue doing damage.
  • Not all pain has a direct cause and effect. Suffering may simply be a result of living in a fallen world, not a demonstration of God’s disfavor.
  • Real compassion to a person in pain is choosing not to project reasons and formulas on the why of a person’s suffering.
  • We can pray for specific outcomes, but need to be open to God’s response and not make our faith dependent on the answer I want.

A lot to think about.

Is there anything in Esther’s list that speaks to where you are at this point in time?

Have you read this book? If so, what was your impression of it?

I wish you well.


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